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Adolescence is so difficult, especially when you house mental illness inside your mind.
Yesterday my friend posted on Instagram a Puberty Challenge and I decided to jump on board because I figured it would be entertaining. I used a picture of me at 16 and one of me a month ago. Once I posted it I realized the sadness in my eyes vs the shine to them now. It is crazy what 8 years can do to a person.
I remember taking that picture 8 years ago, I was at the same kitchen table that I sit at now (but in Timmins) and it was before I moved out of my parents house for the first time. I was in high school, already experienced my first taste of mind altering illegal drugs and very mentally unstable. I was on and off my medications and going through episodes constantly.
I never thought I would make it to 18; or 24 for that matter. At 16 I had already been in jail, beaten by 3 out of 5 boyfriends and parents; lost and attempted suicide 2 times. Life did not seem to be getting any better from any angle. I am so glad I was never successful in my attempts. I am thankful for my will to persevere over all of it (even if it did take me years to do it).
It shocks me sometimes to really think about the absolute helplessness and chaotic drug-filled lifestyle I was in. It shocks me that I survived. That (almost) all of my old roommates from then are alive- RIP A.T.