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“Grandma once told me it's easy to overthink love, to dissect it and question it until it is no more.”
- Ellen Hopkins, Impulse
I am lost in my own brain today. You know the feeling of being physically present but your mind is elsewhere? That is me. Somewhere in my brain there is me, huddled in a corner staring out a windowless room. I feel like the fog from outside has dampened my mind and left me unsure of my direction.
Perhaps this is just the start of a depressive episode, or the fact that my dad's birthday is coming up. He would have been 62 on the 29th. My mom came home the other day and she told me it was hitting her harder than she thought. She even teared up when talking about it; and she is an Ice Queen.
The funny thing about having a heart of ice, it always cracks under extreme pressure. I have tried to explain that to her a few times but she tosses my attempts to the wind until she explodes. Not angrily, just emotionally. To each their own, but I strongly believe in talking through the emotions that come from any situation.
One of the main reasons I started blogging was because I enjoy writing and it was a self care method. I use it for medical history (to see when my episodes start/stop) and for pleasure. I have lived quite a crazy life and I have had a lot of crap to work through. If anyone reading takes anything away from this post, it's this: Don't be afraid to feel your feelings. Sit with them. Understand and learn from them. We're only human.