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Sometimes the hardest thing you can do, is open up.
Honesty was never revered in my family growing up. Oh, the adults always told me to "always tell the truth, no matter what"; but I found out early on that "no matter what" was just a tasty lie to get me in trouble. I wish I could tell me you get self that lying is only a way of life for a little while longer, and that doing it to the people I love outside of my family was going to set me up for disaster.
The toxicity I lived and breathed brought bad people into my life, and that led to bad choices. Yet I kept going through it all even though I've been down on my knees crying for an escape. And I have been there way too many times to count, but I'm still here.
This post is about honesty, so let's talk about it. I have bipolar, I am on medications but I am not 100% normal. I still have manic and depressive episodes, and they take all the energy from me for the things I need to do in a regular day. Even in my own family I see the judgmental eyes and questions when I don't attend birthdays, or events because of my disorder. My brother, who has watched me go through hell, even asks why I can't be normal and do things like other people. I wish they would listen when I explain why, but it isn't good enough for them.
I know I can't change their minds by my words, only by my actions. I don't intend on changing my life to make them happy (especially when his wife is not a nice person). I understand that family is important but when they are dysfunctional it is just not worth it. It is hard to realize that you need to let some parts of your family go, but in the long run it is the best decision you could make.