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I thought I was handing my own and staying on top of my illness. Even when I pay attention, I fail.
Friday was terrible. I lost control of myself. I snapped. I was trying to hard to pick up the slack at home that it turned into me doing almost everything. Every day was a routine of me pleading for help, being ignored until I stopped asking. It lead me into the hospital by ambulance.
I have realized that no matter what I do I will always be bipolar. I will always go through these episodes, it will continue to plague me until the day I die.
I kept trying to be positive but I can't do it anymore. I'm constantly arguing between the potential professional and the suicidal parts of me. I really don't know how much more fight I have left in me.