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I don't need this, I don't need you. The pain from this helped me realise I was better off without you, because you never accepted me.
For as long as I can remember I have been very tough on myself. I think that any little thing that can go wrong is my fault, someone being upset around me I think I caused it, if someone is upset with me I take it too far inside my own mind. This is not healthy and something I need to work on.
Saying goodbye to a loved one is a very hard task to accomplish. I consider all the things I've done for that person and the moments shared with them. I wonder if there was anything I could have done differently to save the relationship but at the end of the day there isn't. Sure, I could have shut my mouth and not let my emotions rule me...but that isn't healthy for me either. Not talking about an issue will always bubble inside of me until the issue boils over and I can't come back from the freak out. That usually kills the relationship, but so does talking about it without the emotion involved.
In my career as a student of child psychology I have been able to understand the different levels of emotion felt within a personal issue and I am learning how to accept the situation for what it is: out of my control. I cannot control another persons emotions, actions or reactions to issues that arise. Being able to accept that and express my feelings in a professional manner was very difficult at first; but I've been getting better with it. Even though it won't save all relationships at least I know that I tried my best. The fact that it wasn't good enough for someone isn't a negative aspect of myself, but of them.
With my happiness now as my first priority I cannot waste my energy on someone who doesn't want to support my life. I live with bipolar, chronic pain and the workload of a student. I just don't have time or effort to waste on those people.