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Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Today I handed in an assignment that brought me to the brink of madness so many times. It was a parenting analysis, so I had to go through my "childhood muck" and relate concepts to our stories. If anyone could guess, I have a lot of stuff to stay about my upbringing.
I noticed that 80% of my assignment was based around my dad because his actions, reactions, punishments and influence were very negatively impactive on my life. I found it very hard to write because of many reasons: my childhood hasn't had to come up in conversation in years, my dad has recently died, and I still have so much to work through. Mainly, I have so much for forgive him for. He will never be able to redeem himself, so instead of holding onto that hatred, anger, guilt and shame; I would rather let it go.
I have so far to go until I get to that point. I don't know if I will ever fully forgive the things he's done and the residual effects it left on me, and that is ok. I know in this line of work that I will be going into will need so much self care tools that I could write a book about them all. With the tools I'm being taught at school, I should be able to apply them to my real life before work starts. Or at least, I hope I can.